You might not be aware

You might not be aware of it at the time, but when you're on a date with a man he'll constantly be evaluating your pros and cons every way he can. Partly, this just means trying to work out how big your breasts are ,the lusciousness of  your lips and whether you're likely to sleep with him or not. But it also means he'll be assessing your relationship potential. For most people, It's not easy to make this judgment on the first date, but to someone like me it isn’t rocket science any more.…

 Do you ask questions?

I've been on dates with lovely, charming, outstanding ladies who have wowed me with their looks and interesting personalities, until I realized I hadn't told them anything about myself - because they had not asked. I call this kind of ladies passive and this is unsurprisingly common in Uganda and Tanzania. In Kenya most women ask questions concerning ones financial status. This is an indicator that a girl likes herself a bit too much and only ones financial status will hook her in the game. If you don’t ask questions you are living a lot of information unanswered that will probably help you make a better decision. Please be inquisitive but pick on questions that are relevant.

Do you love Babies?
This is a tricky ground,. Some dudes can get scared by the number of babies you would want to make with him, but other dudes will be far more perturbed if you told them that you hate babies. If a girl tells me she doesn't like babies it makes them less possible candidates to mother my children. I know of men who don’t like children but it shouldn’t come from your mouth, let it begin from somewhere in the clouds.

Washroom time
Women spend a long time in the washroom, we know that. But if you stay in there too long, men will start to wonder what the hell is behind the delay. Anything over eight minutes and our imaginations will start running wild. The only thing more wild is if your washroom breaks is too brief. If you’re back in your seat within 45 seconds, don't expect any man to share food with you.

Cooking

 If we think a woman can't cook - even if we've just met her - we will subconsciously start visualizing a lifetime of fast foods which to me and many a man is not healthy food. Ladies please also note this, it’s so lovely to eat food cooked by your partner as it makes one have a feeling of ‘’she can make a nice wife ‘’ at least one has a guarantee of delicious food every day.
Cats and Dogs
Don't get me wrong, I like cats and dogs too, I used to have a dog I nicknamed Rex after being addicted to this programmed that used to air on KBC TV’’ Rex the man’s best friend’’. And I like girls that like cats and dogs. But there's such a thing as liking cats too much. When a girl is more interested in her pet than any human, including herself, it sets alarm bells ringing.

Relationship history
it’s obviously never a great idea to rumble on about your numerous ex-boyfriends and ex-girl friends, but I was equally put off when a girl I was seeing told me she had never been in relationship longer than three months - and she was 28. It makes you wonder… why not? Girls take care of this it mostly look bad on your side than men.

Buying drinks
Guys buy drinks on dates. It's not necessarily fair, but it’s fine and we're happy to do it. But if a girl doesn't at least offer to get a round in - and be prepared to buy them if we accept - we'll put you down and note you as a gold digger, have I just said a gold what? No its good for a man to buy drinks on your first date let me not mislead you but if you are open minded and sufficiently philanthropic please buy and men will always appreciate, I have appreciated a couple of times.

Desperation.
This can be detected in several ways. As a recent example, a girl told me she had turned to online dating after being single for a month. I instantly perceived this as her desperation to always be in a relationship, and from there I really knew something was boiling in the distance. To me such lady spells trouble because she will always be on your neck wanting to see you every time and bags of accusations will be on you back. Men tend to avoid desperate ladies so if you are one please keep it invisible.

Family resemblances
supposedly, many of us are subconsciously attracted to people who resemble our parents. But it's best to keep this under wraps. "You remind me of my brother" or "you're a bit like my dad" is not what men want to hear. I have met ladies who said I reminded them of their brothers and dads and what was ringing in my mind was whether she hates her brother, dad or whoever it was I remind her of, In a nutshell keep that in yourself and let that be between you and yourself. AMEN.

The do’s and don’ts on your first date.

Before I settled on this topic, I had to hold lengthy discussions with my friends of both genders just to verify what was in my mind and theirs too, such topics you handle them with great  care to avoid connecting the wrong dots since it is part and parcel of our lives. Something amazing is that during my years of research around the clock I have come to conclude that most of these mistakes occur mostly in Africa with Kenya leading in east Africa and overall it is number fifteen in this black continent, can you imagine? No, it can never be, but to be precise it seems a majority of us participate in making Kenya have that ranking.

1.       Late arrival; most of us don’t keep time when it comes to meeting for a date. This one happens mostly with the ladies, many ladies arrive at their date venue late and confused. The confusion comes in since you are late and have called lying to the man to add you a few minutes which finally turns into hours and hours of waiting. If this is avoided we can build a good atmosphere of your first meeting since no one is thinking bad of the other, though in Africa being late is a culture we can live with. To ladies being late is a mere mistake that doesn’t deserve any punishment, but if a man decides to keep her for that same period she kept him waiting, that man is irresponsible and un loving.

2.       Going with your friends for a date; It is so uncomfortable going to meet your date accompanied by your friends don’t you think? This a behavior that is dominated by our ladies, to my little knowledge I think you go to meet someone for you to bond in both talking and thinking, and actually when it  is just two of you ,you have an avenue to critically analyze this person before you since there isn’t any interruptions from your friends. Please note this; during this time of recession no man will be happy to pay bills that were not in his budget schedule, this applies to ladies too. Please avoid this to ensure that neither of you thinks negative of the other.

3.       Eating like you only went to eat; rarely does this happen but, you need not concentrate too much on food as if it was your main agenda of the meeting. It is better you focus on your conversation, bonding and mainly on finding out if this man or lady is the right person for you rather than realizing how delicious the food is.

4.       Ordering expensive foods; some people orders foods they can’t pay for. What would happen if that person you thought was to pay disappears somewhere through the back door .It is a swell idea to order food which you can pay for, because you never know. There is this man who left a lady in a restaurant because he expected a more beautiful lady than she turned out to be, he excused himself for a short call and there he disappeared. It is always wise to have what you can afford.

5.       Never bring a topic about your ex.; This applies to both ladies and gentlemen, some things are better kept to yourself not unless questions about them are brought on the table which is obvious. Just like when you purchasing a car you would want to know who the owner was whether it was doing taxi or just a personal. It also happens to us human beings we are so curious to know how your ex was, his tribe and so forth. What I normally advise guys is that talk about it but with a lot of caution, this may bring you predicaments if not well handled though if the love is binding it doesn’t cause any harm.

6.       Be open enough, sex topics shouldn’t scare you off; some disagree with me, thinking it’s so hard to talk about sex on your first meeting, I call this crap. Any topic is discussable on your first meeting unless it’s a topic about a cult. It is very important to know how open your man or lady is, for this reason you can know right away how to start treating her or him. I talked about sex and how long it should be. If you didn’t read that article please go through in the archives.

7.       Do text before a first date. In my research 65% of people agree that they’d feel more comfortable on a first date if they had exchanged texts beforehand. Keep pre-date communication light and fun. Ask about his or her favorite bands, movies, and places to hang out, and then use the info to kick start conversation when you’re sitting across the table.

8.       Never pretend too much; you know the problem with pretending? It won’t last long, your pretence will be noticed very easily, I advice guys to avoid living a fantasy life, live your life and you will always enjoy. No one’s life is perfect, even Jesus Christ never had a good life throughout; it has to go up and down.

9.       Marriage topic; this one goes to ladies, I have warned ladies many a times that not all men you are dating will marry you, some of this men are just but teaching you  on how you will treat and stay with your man, sorry to say that. Men don’t like that topic of marriage not because they fear responsibilities and commitment, it is very obvious that this man doesn’t even know you well and you are there already talking about marriage. BUT if the man himself brings that topic, please make yourself comfortable and share your thoughts because you never know…..

NB: Every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to work. If you want it to work, you have to work it. No shortcuts. No 50/50 deals.
 It's not your job to fix your mate, and it's not his or her job to fix you. Take the relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into it, what you'd like to hear. We can work with what's real. It's impossible to deal with what's not real.

I believe if the above facts are put in practice we can have a very wonderful life in our relationships.

Men reason with their center bolt.

Today I am picking a topic which will make some of my friends either concur with me or differ with me, but all the same I have to be independent regardless of which side the weight lies .I have taken into consideration  all the accusations  that have been hauled on me by our ladies accusing me of being biased and hating on them, I want to make the record clear that I am an independent  person as well as of sound mind  and above all  I am human, for that reason I wouldn’t want to pick a bone with any of the genders  in question.

I have s scenario which can very explicitly demonstrate how women are so intelligent and with the power of intextiority  ( an extra sense in ladies that makes them have good judgment)can handle sensitive situations than their so called ‘Lions ‘ men .This scenario I am about to give has emanated from experience I have had as a man, stories  from friends, daily newspapers, magazines both local and foreign. In a nut shell, which I am about to crack - ladies have credibility when it comes to thinking however,at the same time, not all women are ladies.

Imagine a man walking into a lady’s room, say a friend or better still a fiancé to his own friend, then the lady practically starts  stripping in front of this man. I know your  guess  is as well as mine, this man here has  only two un-avoidable options, yes you all know  its logical. One of the options is this man will have to make his tools ready for work and then make use of them given what to work on. This actually reminds me of ‘’the man of the people’’ set book those of you who happened to read this book, there is a saying that goes - no sensible person  can spit a morsel  that  is put in his mouth by fortune.

The man in question will be pleased and pleasured to enjoy all that he is offered without thinking about the following;

1. Whose girlfriend is she?

2. What about his own girlfriend?

3. Using protection?

4. What will be the aftermath?

All this combined and you will agree with me that to some extent we men should be on the fore front telling people of the world that we are the weaker sex. I think on the other hand some men will argue that this isn’t enough to pin them down. Researchers say that majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency. As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often. So could this be one of the reasons why we don’t weigh situations especially in such scenarios as described above?

In a comprehensive survey of studies comparing male and female sex drives, Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State University, found that men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more frequent and varied fantasies

That was to a man, now let us take this other scenario

Picture a lady walking into a man’s room, a man she knows very well ,this might be her friend- note this is not her lover,  just a friend, might as well be a friend to her lover. Then this man starts striping in front of this lady.

Wait! this time your guess is not as mine. This lady according to me and by the way I am very right on this,  at least 60% , she will think the following at glance

1.That the man is setting up a trap to brag to her boy friend (lover) - which in the first place the man did    not think of.

2. That if she agrees to go on and get it on, the man will take her to be an easy girl.

3. That the man wants to infect her with disease.

4. The lady would think of how much she loves her boyfriend and she doesn’t want to betray her trust and loyalty to the man.

5.The lady will think of their friendship with the man who is doing this, that if she does anything funny with this man then their long time friendship will come to an end.

In fact this lady here will be startled; she might even think the man is going mad or something. Depending on the lady’s  integrity ,she may want to talk about the situation, others will bang the door and leave you there with your tools of work ready yet there is no work.If the former happens and this lady wants to talk to you about it, that is a much better situation as you can come up with something witty to clear the air and perform damage control. However if she just rushes, you are certain to have a damaged reputation.

Now do you understand why I strongly say that women always make good judgement, making decisions which stand on solid ground unlike us men who take a lot of risks and make our judgements based on unknown sources, a hunch and many other irrational ideas. I am not saying that all men or women would behave as I have described, what matters  is we co-exist with our fellow human beings and have healthy relationships.

Some causes of Love handles a.k.a wangeci syndrome in young women

                     

“Have you noticed the growing number of teenage girls with love handles nowadays?” read the email from a colleague.

‘Love handles’ are just a polite name for a potbelly  if you’re wondering.

It was interesting because I too had noticed this. Young, flawless faces, but when your eyes dropped to the midsection, the shock of protruding, sagging bellies that looked out of place in an otherwise young-looking body.

I forwarded the email to a couple of colleagues and friends and surprise, surprise; they too had noticed the increasing number of young women struggling to cover bellies that threatened to spill over from the waistlines of their trendy jeans.

“Blame it on junk food, alcohol, our nyama choma(barbecue) culture and what I call the couch potato syndrome

According to my opinion, most of today’s young people have embraced an unhealthy lifestyle, a disastrous menu of junk food, too much red meat, excess alcohol and fizzy drinks coupled with inactivity.

And how true that is. Wander into any pub in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday evening and you will notice groups of young girls, most of them in their late teens or early 20s downing bottle after bottle of beer.

Nyama choma(barbecue) is no longer the elderly man’s meal, so they will have already had their fill of roast meat to ‘line’ the stomach as they prepare for a long night.

Most of them would also tell you that before popping into the pub for the ‘main course’, they had passed by a fast food joint for a plate of chips and fried chicken.

Exercise is, of course, a foreign word in their vocabulary.

“Fat tends to be stored around the waist in women,” says doctor Waf.

Forget aesthetics for a moment, most of the body’s vital organs are found here, and too much fat deposit around this section interferes with their proper functioning.

Unknowingly, while these young women meet every weekend to “do Nyama” or join the long queue of predominantly young people who take advantage of a weekly offer to ‘buy-one-pizza-get-one-free’ at a popular fast food restaurant in the city centre, they are setting themselves up for future infertility, and diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, obesity and a host of cardiovascular diseases.

It is also worth noting that the rate of metabolism in men is higher than that in women. According to Nutritionists, men break down fat faster than women.

This means that when women in their early 20s compete with their male companions for the two kilos of nyama choma and ugali, which they then wash down with several bottles of beer, the damaging effects of this deadly menu are likely to show themselves sooner in the fairer sex.

Nutritionists points out that though your average young woman is conscious of her looks, this does not make her immune to the lure of junk food, which, besides being tastier, is also cheaper than nutritionally-healthy food and therefore friendlier to their pockets.

“Generally, most young women are conscious about their looks and will do just about anything, including starving themselves to portray a certain image.”

Take bulimia nervosa for instance, which Doctors  singles out as common in young women. It is characterized by recurrent binge eating, which one then tries to compensate for by fasting, vomiting, or over-exercising. It, of course, does not work because the damage is already done.

What is the way out then? There is no short cut to losing weight unfortunately, or getting rid of the dangerous fat around the waist. You just have to eat healthy and exercise.

Unless young women embrace a healthy lifestyle now, the problem will be much more than an expanding waistline.

Ladies please note this

If I asked most of our Kenyan ladies how long it should take before a lady engages in sexual intercourse with her newly found boy friend or fiancé, I will hear so many strange stories. Some of you ladies would prefer to take at least a month, a year, or even as in this abnormal case, where a lady tells her boyfriend that they should never have it until they get married. Girl! Up your game, who told you in the first place that he will marry you? Enjoy life in the present; never see tomorrow when you don’t even know what the next second is going to bring you.

Ladies please don’t lie to yourself, it’s never about how long you make a guy wait before you sleep with him, that makes the man love you or follow you. It takes more than just that. Before I go on, let me just elaborate on something here, sex is never an issue in Nairobi as well as other developing towns in Kenya and abroad. If I may zero down to Kenya I know a few places in Nairobi where men can get cheap sex and of any quality, in Hurlingham we have Ethiopians offering sex anywhere between Ksh 400 to Ksh 1000, at Parklands area, its only Ksh 700, Karumaindos is as cheap as Ksh 50 just to mention but a few. What am I trying to tell our beautiful ladies? Am trying to instill in you never to use sex as  weapon to make a man chase you because there are plenty of alternatives that men can run to, as a remedy to your so called ‘hard to get’ game.

Coming back to my point, I was saying you should never pretend because for sure I know most ladies can get laid on even the first day of meeting though I fully back and congratulate the few who can comfortably do that. Most ladies pretend just to make a man perceive her as being hard to get. But whenever a lady does that she must be sure of her tactics if she really wants that very man she is pretending to that she is hard to get, the chances are that she may lose that man to other swift ladies who never miss any opportunity given half a chance.

I have always warned ladies that if you feel a man for real and you really feel it, go for him, avoid the many pretences ladies use, if he asks you for a sleep over, go there, relax and get to learn him that time and if you feel he is really making you feel like you want to, please indulge and enjoy any of the romantic surprises that may come along. It’s pretty unfair to pretend you don’t want what you really want just because it’s your first visit. Please silence that voice at the back of your mind that tells you, getting laid on the first day of meeting a person is a curse because that is a culture that existed many decades before the millennium bug.

I think ladies you must know or have heard of stories where a lady meets her husband in a pub, slept together the same day and stayed in relationship for like three or four years before finally getting married. If you have never heard these stories then you are so nice you don’t gossip even a little like the rest of us.

It is high time we come out of these limiting factors that make us live without lovers and blame it on the universe. Men are there and ladies are there too so let’s enjoy and utilize anything that will give birth to your happiness.

And please ladies, never be shy or ashamed that a man will think or say you are loose regarding what I am urging you to be. Let it be clear that no man, if there is, it’s rare, no man at that time would take you for being cheap, if that’s the case, why is he begging you to sleep

Nine Sex Drive Killers.Courtesy shine.yahoo.com

 I fully concur with the writer of the following article, i came across it on my daily relationship research and i felt it was wise for me to share this with my readers.The writer has just explained all the facts more or less way i would have done in my compiled research.Read this and where necessary please work on it.
   If you're experiencing a decrease in libido, you are not alone. For most people, sex drive is like a roller coaster -- one minute it's up, the next, it's down. A drop or decrease in sex drive is usually caused by changes in lifestyle or is a side effect of taking certain medication. Here, we've compiled a list of the most common reasons (and remedies) for your sex drive's decline. You may even be able to correct the situation with a few simple lifestyle changes.
Sex Drive/Desire vs. Sexual Arousal
There's a big difference between sexual desire and physical arousal: Desire (or libido) refers to your interest in sex, while arousal refers to your body's physical response, such as vaginal lubrication or the ability to have an erection. People with higher libidos often experience an easier time getting aroused; while, conversely, if your sex drive has gone down, you may have a more difficult time with some of the physical aspects of arousal. By increasing your sex drive, your body should respond with an increase in arousal. If it does not, speak to your health care provider.
1. Life
As we take on more adult responsibilities, the strong desire for sex that we experienced in our youth often takes a huge nosedive. Between work, kids, friendships, school, hobbies, volunteer work, homemaking, and exercise, there just doesn't seem to be time for sex. When we do get a minute of free time, often the last thing we want to do is spend it in an amorous cuddle. Watching TV, reading a good book, or stealing a few extra minutes of sleep can seem so much more gratifying. It's not that we don't want to have sex, it has just become a low priority.
Sex, however, is an important part of an adult relationship. Just as we need to make time for ourselves, we also need to make time for our partners. Scheduling sex into your calendar may make you giggle, but if that's what it takes -- do it! Designate a night or two a week to spend quality romantic time with your partner. Make a game of it: Take turns bringing something new to the bedroom, such as a sex toy, illustrated book, video, or technique. By planning ahead, you're making a commitment to yourself, your partner and the relationship, a commitment you'll keep -- just as you'd keep a meeting you scheduled with your best friend, your child's teacher, or a business associate.
2. Stress, Fear, and Anxiety
When we're experiencing stress, fear, or anxiety, sex is usually the last thing on our minds. Work dilemmas, relationship woes, family issues, and money problems can be devastating to our libidos: It's hard to feel sexy when you're worried about the mortgage payment. Fear and anxiety associated with sex itself can also be problematic. We often worry about everything from STDs to fear of pregnancy to sexual performance, all the while dampening our sex drives and hampering our chances to have a satisfying sexual experience.
The first step to putting stress, fear, and anxiety in their places is to ensure that your body is healthy. Eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of water, sleep at least eight hours a night, exercise regularly, and practice relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga. If you won't do it for your general health, do it for your sex life! You should also strengthen your mind: Spend time doing things that are good for you, such as reading, talking to your friends, kids and partner, and writing in a journal. With a healthy body and mind, you're much better equipped to keep your problems from intruding in the bedroom. If you've tried these techniques and still feel that anxiety and fear are damaging your libido, it may be time to see a professional. If you are comfortable with the idea, try talking to a sex therapist. Otherwise a psychologist, life coach or marriage counselor can help you feel better and enjoy sex more.
3. Boredom
Although many people's relationship goals include settling down in a monogamous relationship, familiarity can be a big sex-drive killer. After 20 years together, it's perfectly normal to feel bored or uninspired by your mate. By that time, you've pretty much done it all . . . and have ruled out or forgotten about anything else you haven't tried. Even couples who have been dating for only a few months can get into a sexual rut: After the first flush of puppy love has worn off, many people find themselves having missionary position sex on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays -- not that there's anything wrong with that schedule, but a little spontaneity never hurt anyone!

4. Relationship Problems
Unresolved conflict or unexpressed anger can definitely put a damper on desire, as can negative feelings, secrets, or emotional upset. As you carry around negative feelings about your partner, your level of attraction for that person can wane dramatically, sometimes never to return. Whether it be something simple, such as lack of appropriate hygiene, or something more complex, such as infidelity, you need to deal with it before you can feel sexual again with your partner.
As any therapist or self-help book will tell you, communication is the key to any relationship. If you don't talk through your problems with your partner, they'll grow and fester until they explode into real conflict. If talking to one another doesn't work, talk to a therapist: Couples therapy is becoming more and more common. If that doesn't work, see a sex therapist -- the problem could have deeper roots than you're aware of. If you're still having problems, it might be time to say good-bye. It's sad, but you have to face reality: Sex is an important part of your life and your relationship. It's essential that you enjoy it.
5. Body Issues
Everyone hates some aspect of his or her body: jiggly thighs, curved penis, small breasts, fat belly, or hairy back. The reality, however, is that to have good feelings about sex, you have to have good feelings about your body. While no one is 100 percent satisfied with the way they look, many of us have learned to live with it. If you haven't, you might need to take some action.

Whenever you find yourself having a negative thought about your body, try to back it up with a positive thought about yourself. For example, if you're obsessing on your extra roll of belly fat, stop yourself and force yourself to admit that you have really great eyes or incredibly soft, sensuous skin. Once you begin to feel a little sexy -- no matter what you look like -- your sex drive will improve. However, if you're carrying an unhealthy amount of weight, try to develop and stick to a weight control program. Get some help if you need to: a fitness counselor, nutritionist, or doctor can be a great source of support and inspiration. If you're dealing with another body issue, see a psychologist or family therapist. You need to overcome your body issues and learn to love yourself for who you are, warts and all. Only then will you be able to have a really satisfying sex life.

6. Aging
Age is responsible for many unwelcome changes in our bodies: loss of bone mass, susceptibility to illness, painful joints, gray hair, decreased appetite, incontinence, sleep disorder, wrinkles, sagging flesh . . . and yes, decreased sexual desire. Menopause and decreased testosterone production are the main reasons for the decrease, but fear, anxiety, and depression about aging can also affect your sex drive.
If you're female and going through menopause, it's important that you understand the changes taking place in your body. In some cases, seeing a doctor about medical treatment for the physical changes can help make sex more enjoyable. Estrogen, in a variety of forms, increases the flow of blood to the vagina and increases arousal, which may positively affect desire. Hormone therapy that includes low-dose androgens has been shown to be particularly effective at increasing low desire. Also, don't forget that something as simple as using extra lubricant can be remarkably effective if you're experiencing the common side-effect of vaginal dryness.
If you are male, decreased levels of testosterone may be affecting your level of sexual desire. Talk to a therapist or doctor about your alternatives. Your doctor may prescribe testosterone, but the dosage must be carefully monitored, as too much of the hormone can cause depression and other side effects. In addition, it is not clear how safe it is to take the hormone for a long period of time. Alternatively, Viagra(r) might be good option. Regardless, you need to speak to your doctor first.

7. Sexual Abuse
Victims of sexual assault or abuse often have a difficult time experiencing physical intimacy. It's no wonder: We're encouraged to take time to let our bodies and minds heal, but little attention is paid to our sexuality. Don't despair -- many people have been able to have healthy sexual relationships even after a sexual assault; with counseling, time, and patience, you can be one of them. Do take as much time as you need. Don't let anyone (including yourself) pressure you into becoming intimate again until you're ready.
8. Medication
A common side effect of birth control pills (specifically combined oral contraceptives) is diminished sexual desire: Decreased androgen production or lowered testosterone levels can cause some women to experience a lowered sex drive and less vaginal lubrication. In addition, mood stabilizers, tranquilizers, high blood pressure pills, and other medications have been shown to decrease levels of sexual desire and arousal. Even if you have a medical condition that is completely unrelated to your libido, your sex drive can still suffer: Many common medications adversely affect your level of sexual desire or arousal. Talk to your doctor when taking any new medication. If your doctor thinks it may affect your sex life, he or she might be able to suggest an alternative.
Depression has become a frighteningly common diagnosis over the last few decades. If you're feeling down and can't seem to shake it, you may have depression. While there are many wonderful resources for people with depression, the best thing to do is see a doctor as soon as possible. In addition to making you listless, drowsy, sad, angry, upset and emotional, depression can have a profound effect on your sex life -- as many as 75 percent of people with depression report a loss of sex drive. Ironically, the very drugs used to treat depression (MAOIs, SSRIs and tricyclics, among others), can also cause sexual dysfunction, such as delay in orgasm, inability to orgasm or ejaculation and erection impairment. Any of these conditions can have an adverse affect on your level of desire.
Until recently, the only remedies were to reduce your dosage, change your medication, take a holiday from your antidepressants, or take a medical antidote, which can cause further difficulties. However, some doctors think that taking Viagra® may help people who are using antidepressants. Or you might try ginkgo biloba, which is thought to help with lack of desire related to taking Paxil and other antidepressants. Recent studies have shown the antidepressant Wellbutrin to be effective in combating reduced sexual desire, so you might consider switching antidepressants if your doctor says it's OK. If you notice a drop in your sexual desire around the time you start a new medication, talk to your doctor to see if there is a connection. Just remember: Do not stop taking any medication without talking to your doctor first.

9. Medical Dysfunction
Most people are familiar with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and female sexual desire disorder, but did you know that loss of libido can be related to a thyroid condition? Hormone deficiency can also be the culprit, especially in older people. A metabolic disorder -- anything that adversely affects your metabolism (including an eating disorder, accident, trauma, or illness) will almost undoubtedly cause some lack of sexual desire. And, did you know that one in five American women have hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), more commonly referred to as low sex drive? The point is, if you've ruled out all other possibilities for your decreased libido, see a doctor. You could very well have an easily remedied medical condition.
What is Normal?
If you're frustrated about your lack of sexual appetite, try to go easy on yourself. Everyone's body is different. There is no "normal" level of sex drive. Your personal sense of normality is defined by how you feel about your sexuality and whether or not you're happy with how you are expressing it. If you're one of the lucky people who is perfectly comfortable with his or her sexuality, congratulate yourself. If you're like the millions of others who feels they could use a little boost, explore the remedies we've suggested. But don't hold out for a miracle . . . while some of these recommendations have worked for many people, there's no guarantee they will work for you. Be patient. For a temporary solution, go solo with a sex toy or two, and eat a piece of chocolate. Haven't you heard? It's an aphrodisiac.

2 lives we live.

Whichever life you live make sure you don't violate the rules, regulations and obligations of the other life.If you never knew we live 2 lives, the societal kind of living and our own kind of living which at all times go hand in hand and at some points you live one at a time, wait i don't mean that you die dah,what i mean hear is that we all tend to conform to the societal way of living to fit in the society. society would expect all of us to behave in accordance to societal norms that's to say we go to school, have good and big houses big cars have a family with moral uprightness, yah thats living to societal life expectations, if i asked some of you what kind of life they would want to live most of you would prefer our own way of living to societal one since if it were me i wouldn't have gone to school especially college i would have asked for that money and now i would be having more than ten years experience in my business, but since the society wants you to go to the university and grade you as learned and responsible one has to go even if its against his/her own wish. some of you would have chosen to drop school in primary or high school level but since your parents looks at other children in the neighborhood on their performance and everything they had to impact the same in you.In the same regard i bet some of you wouldn't have gotten married, some marry to impress society and thats the worst part of it.Its better a times we live our own life and camouflage it with the societal way of live just to make sure you remain in the flow.Coming back to my point i would like to urge our super ladies to come out of this closet of societal norms and live their lives a times.some of our African ladies live more of the societal life and even forget their own kind of living, everything you want to explore with them they tell you its bad ,to me killing is the worst thing one should shun away,(and maybe conning someone or stealing but most of these vices are never in the bedroom) anything in the bedroom that is doable do it never ask because you will never learn.Its societal norm that a man supposed to approach a girl in Africa but if you feel a man please go for him never wait because fortune never waits you have to grab that opportunity no matter what-that is the reason i like some of the go getters of our Nairobi city Kenya girls.If you loose that opportunity it never comes someone will have him and you will be singing that to your inner person forever.These things of staying so smart may make you loose a lot. I am very sure some ladies in Kenya will be happy to marry but they wonder how that would happen just because its against our societal norm. What the ****. try live 40% of your life and i assure you full time enjoyment.Ladies wake up men enjoy this freedom in spite the fact that societal norms are followed, the good thing is that no one monitors your own life closely otherwise you would have heard wonders.Thank you.

Love and Money.

What happend to the women of our fathers days? thats what i ask myself whenever i listen to one of the most popular radio station here in kenya. Women of these days will never at any time love you(man)with  empty pockets.It is becoming harder and harder to evaluate whether the same woman you share the bed with loved you for the sake of love or because you had to lubricate or rather grees her highway to you using your job tittle  or let me reffer to this as Big Cheque Girls.(BCG). Whatever the case the end point for a man is getting what he wants in her whether its for life or for some benefits.I would like to make this once and for all, that women of this error believe and love money, and this therefore means to me that money can buy anything unlike our fathers days when sayings ''like money cant buy love'' were regularly used. I bet these days its used for the sake of it but not for the real meaning.Ladies you know what? men have now started dancing  to your tune , men know you want people with money so they will lie to you what supposed to be there dream jobs , houses and cars or better still a man can go rent a car -i hear nowdays a range rover sport is akiller car, it gets you(a man) a super model sophistcated and eloquent girl husle free.I think you are desagreeying with me but you see some sense in this.ladies let us be original ,thats us and its the only way forwad i hear they say that they start by loving a mans' wallet, car ,house and then her love to him begins, its nowdays not those days and when i say those days reffer to your father's hey days.Amen.